The Art of Ruining Art

There are many important things that go into making a bad movie. Having horrible actors, atrocious editing/cinematography/scoring/sets/costumes, a crippled storyline, non-human dialogue, and a director that has never bothered watching his completed works are fairly significant, sure, but there are certain moments in film that are just so perfectly bad that you cannot help but wonder if there was some divine hand involved. Moments that, despite knowing they will end your career as a respected artist, you still keep them in. Scenes that are so bad, but you find it impossible to look away. And finally some entire movies, like Undefeatable, that are like a diamond with a rat in it. Flawed, scorned by Zales and Jared, and yet one of a kind. 

Its hard enough to command a scene as an actor, some people are better known for their stoic contennance and ability to simply react subtly to events around them.

Being a supervillian as cool and crafty as this guy is difficult.

But dying gracefully after a nailbitingly tense pile of epicness, is equally as…something.

A script can only get you so far, at some point you need to let the palpable improv acting abilities of your thesbians fill the room like a glorious fart.

Training montages can be found in just about every “Best Picture” nominated film. That being said, this cannot in good conscience be called a training montage, or a film.

Finally, this movie might just have what it takes to dethrone Undefeatable as the best movie ever made. Unfortunately, just about every known copy of the movie has been destroyed, assumedly by people who couldn’t handle the palpable terror, or people who like “movies”. Luckily, I stole a copy from Netflix, so please if you’d like to bear witness to its greatness, just ask, I can help you out. The director’s commentary alone is worth it, he can’t even help but laugh and groan at what he put to screen in 1982.